'NEW TERMS'...Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America......



Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN. '

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HA...

TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY, INC.
6969 SLIPPERY ROOT DRIVE
DROP TROUSER, NC 21692


February 3, 2010


Dear Mr. Jarrod... "COOP"



We regret to inform you that we have rejected your applications to model and represent our product, Trojan Condoms.

Although your general physical appearance is not displeasing, our Board of Directors feel that your wearing our product in advertisements does not portray a positive, romantic image for our product. A loose, baggy, and wrinkled condom is n...

No doubt the Air Force purchasing department gets some odd requests from time to time, but we'd love to have seen the grin on the face of the officer tasked with procuring some 1,700 Playstation 3s for a USAF facility in Rome, NY.

Before you complain about your tax dollars being spent on toys, the machines aren't for gaming. Instead, the facility -- an Air Force research lab -- will join them into a parallel-computing cluster that, when complete, will number well over 2,000 PS3s.

The supercomp...